wake up for @ positive kat

Celebrating her 8th with
rainy day fun at Playland. :)

It's been almost two months since my exciting hospital experience and for the most part I'm feeling fine. Would love more days with no head pain, but otherwise all my focus on stress reduction and a health first attitude has gone well for me so far.

For a few weeks it was hard to shake the feeling of being a walking time bomb. I have kind of felt that way at times in the past (potential for blood clotting, pituitary lesion, messed up kidneys, etc...crap, that makes me feel old when I list ailments that way! gotta remember I'm healthy in many ways too, lol) but last month made it feel really, really REAL.

Every task had me thinking "is it safe to do this?" or "is this gonna be the day something explodes inside?" and I was afraid of everything. Not a lot. Just enough that deep breathing was something I was doing constantly to calm down. Ok, a lot. Enough time has now passed, and clearly I'm still here, so the edge has come off those feelings for the most part.

I would say the emotional toll of the experience was really what I have been recovering from. Every hug shared with me as I got out and about again was a "thankful you're alive" kind of hug, which had me grateful that so many people care about me, and upset that so many people were so worried about me.

I still get weepy at times, especially when people ask about the things I don't have answers to. Friends and family (like sister-in-law who's a doctor) have given me a list of questions for when I get to see a neurologist who can answer them. (Like: "is there a chance there was bleeding on the brain in my explosion headache, but the blood was absorbed over 5 weeks between the pain and the scans?"; and: "what are they gonna do with those things so they don't rupture on you one day?")

The wait to see another neurologist is almost over though. When I was in hospital, the neurosurgeon, neurologist and my family doctor were all referring me to a neurologist that specializes in aneurysms and post concussive issues. Turns out he's not taking new patients (though they may still try to get me in one day). Plan B was to see the neurologist who I saw back when the lesion on my pituitary was found, but she's not able to see me until like November. When I said it would significantly reduce my stress and concern if I could see someone sooner, plus my doc is worried that the pains in my head are still there, so I was then referred to another guy who was able to see me June 26 (the day before my birthday so was hoping for the gift of good news)...but when he saw my file he figured it was a waste of time to see him and he referred me to a neurologist in the Stroke Prevention clinic. And I will see this doc tomorrow! Funny how my waits seem to go from long-way-in-the-future to NOW.

This whole experience has amplified my gratitude for every day. Truly a wake up call that has had me feeling like I'd been given a second chance with life, even though I didn't almost die. (Totally a weird feeling to be honest.) Lying in a hospital bed for 2 days, waiting for a potential brain surgery that may or may not: a) kill me, b) leave me brain damaged, c) have me recovering for up to a year or d) who knows?; kinda left me reflecting on whether I had any regrets...things I would be really sad to not have accomplished before checking out of this world.

As the song goes "Regrets, I've had a few", but for the most part I have a life that makes me really happy and I am blessed with an abundance of good people in my world. And "I did it my way" ;) 
And not that I feel I've wasted much of my time on this earth, but I had taken it for granted that I still had lots of time to finish more of the things I want to do in life, and now I have focus for what I want to do with my time.

When reflecting on what volunteer responsibilities to let go of, I decided I would remove all hats (except for things that are specific tasks, like doing our monthly rotation on the compost for our co-op, and finishing tasks I started in preperation for our Celebrate Mt Pleasant Days event on June 7th which is gonna be so much fun!) and just give myself permission to take a year off and put my spare energy to use on continued healing and finding better balance.

It has been a benefit and a curse to have very few hours at work in April and May. Money stress makes me worry, but I know we'll be ok in the long run, so falling a bit behind on bills could be worse. Remember to breathe.

I've used my free time for plenty of reflection, meditation, stretching (want to get to some yoga classes with neighbour friends, but doing some moves I learned way back in prenatal yoga), going for walks in the woods with friends and their dogs, going for long walks all day on my own (just cuz I love walking), a bunch of garden therapy getting some food growing on our patio, great hangouts with friends and lots and lots of writing! Also enjoyed flashbacks to the past looking at old photos (like before digital times old) which reminded me I have had a good life so far. Plenty of ups and downs, full of challenges that have shaped my character, and many people I've had fun adventures with. Lucky girl!

 

I'm very glad I still have time to enjoy the ride of life...tho can't ride on rides anymore. My thrill seeking, adrenaline rush days are behind me. At least I can say 'been there, done that' for lots of coasters and even jumps from high places! While spending a day at Playland for Sasha's birthday I found that the swings, ferris wheel and the Pirate ship are my thrill rides now, lol. ;)

My focus on stability is a challenge and trying to land some stable employment is my biggest stress. I hope to end up full time at Britannia one day, but sitting around waiting for that is hard for me. So I have also spent time on my resume and cover letters to apply for work elsewhere. Not a lot of options out there that appeal to me, but I have exceptional people skills, learn fast, and have a diverse range of work/volunter exprience that will land me somewhere good one of these days!

Until work is worked out, I'll keep focusing on more fun with friends and finishing creative projects I need to complete. A while back I chose to let go of the full documentary idea for the Educate Me Project, but now I'm going to make some short films by breaking out ideas from the feature length project.
I'm very excited to get to work on the first which will be ready for production soon with the tagline "If governments are going to run public education like its a game, let's turn it into a game we can win."

Also going to keep using the filmmaking skills I've acquired to work with Sasha on her Sashaland Productions, and we have two projects we're going to finish together down the road. 

I'm practicing my music and have songs to sing, so I might conquer a fear and find a stage to sing them on for my birthday. And trying to learn German in hopes of being conversational before our potential trip to Germany/UK in the fall. I love having things to look forward to and nothing beats an epic family adventure! :)

This blog will still be home to things I want to share with friends and family like updates on health and good times. (this blog has evolved since it started as a way to share pics and info for those far away about my pregnancy and birth of our baby...who now is 8 and very capable of sharing her own stories) Otherwise, I am now gonna put my creative energy into @positivekat with writing, filming, and making music. All this I'm gonna share thru my new Saucy Side Productions site.

Now you're up to date on life with me. More news to come after I see the neurologist. Thanks to all you faboo folks for all the positive energy you continue to give me! :)

Tales of a Green City Racer

Tucked behind the the Great Northern Way campus, and the BCIT Green Roof Research Facility, you will find a new Evergreen project - an urban orchard!

 And here is where we began one of the most enjoyable and challenging family adventures ever!!

 I enlisted Mark and Sasha to join me on a team to compete in the inaugural Green City Race organized by Evergreen, which is one of my ultimate favourite environmental organizations that focuses on bringing all kinds of awesome greenery to cities and schools around Canada.

The little orchard just happened to have a small stage, so while we waited for the race to begin after registering, Sasha chose to pump us full of positive green energy with a spontaneous green song.




As the "Whittam Greens" our family joined 55 other racers (in teams of 2-3 people) on an Amazing Race style journey around Vancouver by foot and transit.

One of the organizers took to the stage next and shared a summary of the rules: After we complete the first challenge we will be given a bag full of clues, and other useful things we may need during the race - like a day pass for transit! Once you reach the destination of your first clue you will be able to answer the follow up question on the clue sheet. The answer to the question will some how reveal the number for your next clue. Keep going til you answer all your clues and make it to the finish line.

In between random clues there will be a couple of challenges for your team to complete before you can be given your next clue number.

There was a Hint Line we could call if we found ourselves stuck, but it costs you a few points. And we were not finished all of our clues by 2:30, we were to call this number for help to find our way to the finish line before time ran out.

Smart phones had been recommended because some clues would require internet access to solve, and the other option was to have someone you can call to help look things up for you. Our phones are pretty basic, so we went with option B and enlisted a few 'phone-a-friend' back up helpers for our team. (a couple of my Britannia co-workers and Marks library staff network)

With the race basics covered we were introduced to our very first challenge - plant an apple tree! As a team we had to dig a hole, plant the tree and make sure it was done right so when the volunteer checks your work the tree doesn't come out.
Done. Gravenstein now added to our list of apples to try. :)

Once we collected our bag of tricks we were on our way!

Another way of earning bonus points during the race was to capture a team member within a photo from a list of ideas they provided. The list included things like 'holding a reusable mug/drink container'. Have you ever seen this done with such pizazz?

Sasha earned us some extra funky points for poses like this one. ;)

We also captured 'using a cloth bag' and 'examples of recycling and garbage containers'. Yes, I actually had a reason to take pictures of these things this time! (unlike all the pics I've acquired over the years just because waste management and its various containers is a fascination of mine)

Our first clue was related to the number of goals in the Greenest City 2020 Action plan for Vancouver which I have read a bunch of times. If I had trusted my gut we could have saved a half hour of time getting to the destination pretty quick. However, once I second guessed myself we called for help and hearing conflicting info we took the Canada Line up to King Edward instead.

Another back up call ended up confirming my original instinct to the answer, and then we walked up Cambie back to where we should have been while enjoying the beautiful day and taking pics for bonus points as we strolled.

We found a coffee shop where we could get a pic of Sasha holding some 'fair trade coffee beans'  (sorry Kirsten! we didn't find any Cafe Etico while we raced around!)

More funky funk poses from Sasha with another garbage bin (I love these Big Belly solar compactors!), with an electric car power up station, and the food garden outside City Hall.

 

With this herb garden from the Green Streets program finally found, our next clue informed us we were up for a challenge on the lawn of City Hall. I wish I had a picture to show you from the water race we completed together as it was a lot of fun! Sasha and I first used our 4 hands to carry the bucket of water to the half way point of the field marked by flags to show the distances we had to travel. Once to the first flag I hopped on one foot with the bucket to the 2nd flag. Mark then ran around a tree with the bucket before all 3 of us ran back to the starting point.

(Update: my wish was granted by Evergreen who sent me pics of our family racing! yay! So here is your action shot!) 

Surprisingly, we barely lost any water and also earned a few points for funk and team spirit. Then they stamped our point collection sheet and gave us our next clue number. Our next clue took us to the Baxter House, a heritage house built in 1913 as the home for Truman S Baxter who was the mayor of Vancouver at that time.

This was when we ended up calling the hint line for help as we were having a difficult time finding the "sign of inspiration in the laneway" next to the heritage house that our clue eluded to. It didn't help that there was a garage sale going on before this door, as well as a construction fence. If we had walked further down the lane we eventually would have found this sign which says "Be the change you want to see in the world".(We did find it after we were told it was on a door a few garages in...oh. there it is!)

After a snack, some hydration and a few deep breaths to re-energize and get back into race mode we were on to solve the next clue which I figured would be found at the Neighbourhood Energy Utility serving Southeast False Creek down at the base of the Cambie Bridge.

As we made our way north it was awesome to stumble across a random flash mob practise by the latest artist installation by the Canada Line at Broadway.

The clue to find the energy station would have been tricky if I wasn't one of those people that actually explores the city web site in my spare time. (the site honestly has lots of interesting things to discover!) Especially around the time of the Olympics I was following development around Southeast False Creek (aka Olympic Village) so the energy plant was another thing I already investigated, and even visited on one of my walks along the sea wall. The little garden wasn't there when I check it out last time, and was a nice addition to the area.

 

Nearby we got this pic of Sasha pointing at an example of 'illegal dumping' off in the distance.

Here are 2 more of my fave bonus point photos we collected on our travels to the site of our next clue: 'gesture of thanks to a transit worker' and the 'random act of green kindness' we stumbled upon. Glad we were able to sign the petition from Youth for Climate Justice Now to stop the expansion of oil development on the coast, which is something we support completely.

Our next destination was the MOBY garden which I have been a fan of for years. Passing this garden once during a wave of negative emotion at the end of the civic strike (that had both Mark and I on the picket line for 3 months) re-inspired my hope that things can get better...even when it doesn't always feel like it. Genuine positive change is a generational struggle that will continue til we get it right, or we don't. Garden projects like MOBY are proof anything is possible when community organizes together, and provides plenty of reason for hope. And it has a cob building! C'mon. What's not to love about this place?

After the garden the next clue was to find out what kind of fruit Bandidas Taqueria has stopped serving because of its unsustainable food miles. I've yet to sample the food at this restaurant but have had it on my list of places to try for a long while as it is one of those places that emphasizes  local, organic, fair trade and every other ethical consideration we value when it comes to our food. And they support community groups and artists to boot. If you are curious about which fruit got the chop off their menu it is pineapple.

From there we were unable to decipher the next clue to find the spot for our last challenge of the race. Part of the clue we figured out was Germany with the help of two phone back ups (the question was to do with which country had the highest rate of solar energy per capita at 43%). But not even our super skilled librarian or community info staff contacts were able to figure out where in Vancouver we could find a plaza with connections to Germany and  'foursquare' based on the wording of the clue.

Thankfully for our intellectual egos, we found out at the end of the race that we were not the only ones who struggled with that one! Google really does work differently for everyone after all.

As it turns out there is a lovely garden by 29th Ave station called the German-Canadian Heritage Garden. One day we'll go check that out now that I know it exists. :)

So there was one clue and one challenge we didn't get done, but Mark quickly determined the solution to the final clue in our bag was the Woodwards building.

Back on the Skytrain and away we go to the finish line!

...and a final couple of bonus photos before we check in. "find a public water fountain' and 'leave a thank you note on the handlebar of a bicycle'. check and check. (Our note said "Thank you for riding your bicycle! Cheers to a greener world :D")

The Whittams Greens were not the first team in, but we also weren't the last!! Haza! Prizes were given for the team that brought the most funk to the race - undeniably the Loraxettes (we speak for the trees!)  and for the top 2 teams which scored insanely high points overall and mastered the race in every way.  I loved that the trophies were repurposed trinkets from thrift stores, while the prize gifts were things like eco spa packages. Quality where it matters ;)

After 3 1/2 hours as Green City Racers we were exhilerated and exhausted. The journey was intense yet totally wonder-full!! Our goal when we began was to simply enjoy the challenge, see how many clues we could solve before time was up, explore and learn some cool things about green initiatives in our great city. This mission was completed with gusto! We got to play in a friendly competition with passionate keen-to-be-green folks, put our critical thinking skills to work, visit some of the spots we already love, find many new things we didn't know about, got a dose of history and a dose of a visionary green future...and plenty of sunshine and exercise!

We learned more about how we work together as a team and are more aware of our strengths and weaknesses. (you'd think after all our years together that we would have figured out how to avoid getting cranky with each other under pressure...but we sure have gotten better at getting over it quickly, lol) Next year we will have a smart phone with us for sure, as I found there were a few things I could have easily found with internet at my fingertips. We are full of gratitude for all the help we did get by phone as it was nice of people to share their time to help the Whittam Greens make it to the next level of the race. (Sandy and Kia, you rock ladies!) It broadened our team and added to the overall race experience.

At the end of it all, the best part for Sasha was that they awarded her a small trophy for being the youngest racer (the only child actually) to complete the Green City Race! She was totally overjoyed! While waiting for the bus home she says "mommy please take a picture of me loving my trophy". ummm, ok.

 

We are totally looking forward to racing around town again next year in the 2nd Annual Green City Race, and hope you will join us for the fun. Gotta warn you though...the Whittam Greens will be upping the funk factor, and if we have our own smart phone (like everyone else)  we know we've actually got what it takes to win it next time! Win or not, it has proven to be a fabulous family fun adventure indeed! :D

Many thanks to all the great staff and volunteers at Evergreen for their hard work pulling off a terrific event! Cheers to all of you from the