did you say it's Christmas next week?!!!

time for the family photo again...there are better pics than this but since some of you are getting copies (maybe for christmas?) i can't post them yet. teehee. we used to only do pics with the timer in front of the tree, but for Penny's sake we had a professional one done last year. this year i managed to sign us up for a freebie shoot from Pacifica Photography. they got some really great pics of us!

it was funny when I told Mark that we were going for a portrait shot and he reminded me that all of our 'good' clothes (of which we don't have many) were all packed in storage. my reply was "who says you have to dress up?"...and so in our full length pics you can see just how casual i really was - barefoot ;)

anyways, the week or so since the last post has been another roller coaster of emotion.
first let's start with the move. we all met at the storage place when I got off work. it was saturday and Murphy was kind enough to hold off on the rain until the last 15 min or so of unloading with the movers. (right after I said "aren't we lucky the rain held off today?" d'oh!)

Overall the day went pretty well. the movers were great guys, both originally from New Brunswick. it was fun to share stories from NB as I have been there a couple of times to visit Ang & Ian (before I moved here and they moved back to Ontario...maybe we'll end up in the same province again one day? lol)

it was a successful day in my mind...except for: my toe nail which was ripped off (my consequence for continuing to wear sandals all year...damn hot feet); the tv getting a chip in the frame; one of the movers falling down the stairs (he was bruised but ok...and it wasn't me for a change - bonus!); and we now have no box spring for our bed cuz it didn't fit up our stairs.

since our move in we have received a wonderful amount of warm welcoming to our home. we were given a lovely bamboo plant as our welcome gift from the co-op, cookies brought to our door from Kristina, a housewarming gift from dad & Liz of 2 stainless steel wine glasses (which we have already used a few times and love...can't break these suckers -sweet!) and today while I was at work our neighbour came and introduced herself to Mark and brought us a Christmas gift!

WOW!!!! I've never felt so welcome in a new place ever before in my life...it has really helped to melt away the stress and anxiety of the whole 'between-homes' ordeal :)

wednesday was my 7th day straight of spontaneous bursts of glee to have an end to all of the pieces of my life that had been in limbo. work and home were back to approaching some semblance of order...settling into the new place and things looking really good for the new year. joy joy joy!

then came the call from my mom. Grandpa was in the hospital and not expected to last more than a few days. he was on meds until he went in his sleep basically.

a whole new limbo. and the saddest one of the year by far.

he passed away yesterday morning and i'm still trying to process my feelings on it all. i'm thankful i had a good visit with him last spring and that I was able to introduce him to Sasha. he just beamed when he got to introduce everyone to his daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter. and I had just assumed he'd still be around when I visited ontario again in 2008...

well. it seems we'll likely get our family together there in the spring to honour him in some way together and I look forward to this. for now i grieve for my grandpa who i will miss.

oh yeah...in a few days it's time for Christmas! i've never been less prepared. i have to admit that i don't think i've ever had a harder time getting into the spirit. the ups and downs lately have me feeling a bit spent. but i know the hugs and time i will have with family over the next week will help rejuvenate me.

another thing to be happy for is that we have Che with us for the holidays, and Mark and I are off work a fair bit for the next couple of weeks so we have time for us all to unpack and make this place our home! yay!

i'm happy i can still remember and appreciate all that i have to be happy for in life. even in the past 5 months of limbo and all it's trials i have never lost site of all i have to feel gratitude for...and still do. and I haven't even mentioned my freakin' fantastic coworkers at Brit who have been just so amazingly supportive. Helping me through breakdowns and always giving me something to look forward to...my lack of a straight jacket right now is in major part due to my friends at the pool, info centre and child care of britannia community centre! super squishes of thanks for my fellow brit staff...one more family i know i can count on when i'm in need :)

before i end with a couple of pics of Sasha enjoying her new home (and she really has settled into her new room and this whole place with remarkable resiliency! she seems unphased by all the chaos and shuffle of the past few weeks...and i wonder when - if ever - she will tire of the 27 steps from top to bottom) i just wanted to share with all of you the latest piece in my public education advocacy.

I have joined with an adhoc group of parents and educators who are tired of public education being treated as a football in party politics. As the Vancouver Public Education Project (PEP) we're aiming to unite progressive candidates in next years municipal school board elections. It's time we stop letting school board be treated as a mere stepping stone in a political ladder. We all want trustees who are running for school board becasue they care about protecting public education at the local level. You can read our open letter to potential candidates which was released to the media this week...and please sign on if you are supportive of it!
http://www.publiceducationproject.blogspot.com/

now...back to the cutey pie...here playing on her new bed...and first bath time in the new home

merry christmas everyone! hope your holidays are jolly whatever you celebrate with your loved ones :)

move in any time...

just a quick note for those of you who look for updates often:

last night we found out we can move into our suite anytime...and today we got the keys to our new home!!! yay!! yippee!! hip hip hooray!!!

here's Sasha spinning around on the new laminant flooring in our suite. (new flooring adn carpeting throughout - sweet!) we went to pick up our keys, do some measurements, and get another look at the place we will soon call home...and she ran herself ragged up and down the stairs yelling all over the place to check out the really neat acoustics only found in a vacant apartment. cute for the first 1/2 hour - lol

as irritating as her frantic energy became after an hour or so, I was more relieved at her happiness (she really seemed to love the place! can't wait to see what she thinks of having her own room) after she and I had a very dramatic 20 minutes on route to the co-op...
as I was leaving Mums I noticed the door ajar signal on. so I got out to see which door was ajar...and then my door closed...and then I found out all the doors were locked - with Sasha still in the car!!!!

I had a hard time not completely freaking out as I realized it wouldn't benefit either of us (and she was clearly upset enough for both of us)...but I was internally going insane at my baby being locked in and I had no idea what to do at first.

Luck was on our side though as a neighbour just happened to be pulling into their drive as I was coming to my horrific conclusion...and when I asked for help she came through like an ace! She set me up with her cordless phone and the phone # for BCAA (for which I knew Penny had a membership...practical!) After an excruciating time on hold I relayed the situation and was told a truck was on its way - I believe baby trapped in car gets you pretty high up on the list pronto!

the driver came within about 10 minutes...almost the longest waiting time in my life. the whole ordeal only about 20 minutes...but holy moly...took much longer for my heart to calm. the driver thought it was pretty funny when I declared "I've never been so happy to get into a car in my life!!"

aside from that drama everything else still feels surreal...the limbo period is almost over...and we actually will be moving this weekend!!! saturday to be precise. yay!

got our movers lined up...crossing things off the to-do list.

the suite is better than I remembered (more spacious in some areas, not so spacious in others...funny how the memory shifts perception over the weeks. it was also hard to visualize without all of the other tenants stuff) and I am now feeling confident about our settling in there just fine :)

next post will have great adventure tales from the move into northern way...next few days are all about work and moving. I was jumping for joy today at being happy in a way I haven't been happy in many months...I'm gonna go do some more jumping now ;)

a home between homes

here is Sasha lavishing in waffle goodness...we've been spoiled the first few days here at Mums I'll say :)

so here's the story on our move...

we were supposed to be out of the house on the 30th. well...I was just a wee bit over optimistic on how much Mark & I could manage alone in two days with a pick up. (unrealistic is what Penny calls it. teehee)

the pick up we used had a canopy so it limited how much we could pile into it. so 2 things I underestimated was space in the vehicle, and the other how long it would take.

On friday the weather was fabulous and we had help from one of mums friends who squeezed in a trip for us and came with her truck to take our queen bed.

on saturday Murphy tested us a bit with the first major snow of the year which slowed things down - but gratefull wasn't a downpour of rain (count the blessings!) we were also totally lucky to have my wonderful friend Susan come to our rescue with her minivan (amazingly spacious!) to help us with the last few loads.

and after everything was in storage we did our final clean up of the place...and were finally done and out about 11:30pm on Saturday!! a full day behind schedule...and totally exhausted.

really dropped the ball on organizing the move out. so now we want to organize the move in to the new place at the Northern Way Co-op...but we STILL don't know when that will be!!!

we spent a couple of nights at Thomas & Kristina's (our friends who live in the same co-op) while they played in disneyland. there we got to get a feel for the new area and we both got in a walk to/from work (under 1/2 for Mark, just over 1/2 hour for me - wicked!!) but I'll admit to being jealous cuz their suite is much nicer then the one we're moving into. we also got to see the painters there working on our suite...so we know the work has begun which means the end point is near...the suite (#404) will be our home soon enough!

I have started my list of things I'm eager to do in our new 'hood. The Drive has been my destination walking point for the past few years. Now there are so many great places to walk to I can't wait! and all the many hills of the mount pleasant neighbourhood will be good exercise for me and Sasha ;)

in the meantime we hang out here in North Van at Mums house. she's gone to visit Karli so it feels funny to play house here while she's away (and we miss being pampered - lol) I'm trying to think of it as a mini vacation...but still having to deal with day-to-day life (with a bit of a commute from the north shore we're not used to) makes it hard to relax like we really are on vacation.

the only anxiety I have left is the inability to feel settled in my home with my family. not having access to that stuff in our 10x15 storage space is quite nerve racking. I'd like to think I'm not really attached to the stuff...it's more the space the stuff fills that I'm longing for. soon kathy...soon.

a bonus on the storage front - it seems our wager on the Public Storage facility payed off as we only had to pay about $85 all together including another week we've added just in case we don't get in before the 17th. sweet deal if you ask me...we're very happy with their service!

the other positive since the last post is that I finally know when the job share will start - Jan 22. So I'll have my regular friday shift at the pool and two days a week in the info centre sharing the job. Very very nice! a huge relief...and now I can finally schedule around our child care needs and everything else! excellent!

january is going to be full of newness...new job (kinda...the work I'm sharing is new as I don't do it as an auxilary) and new home...new community to explore. and today we went and got new bedding for all of us for our new bedrooms (and a bed for Sasha for her 1st room of her own) as an early house warming gift to our family.

here's a couple of more pics of Sasha keeping us entertained as we did the last of our packing up...and we're thankful to Granma for taking care of Sasha while we worked to get ourselves out of there! a bounty of gratitude to Penny, Susan and Darryl for their help in moving us out of 36th...really couldn't have done it without them (or maybe we could but it would have been really really awful!) their positive energy was much needed and their help so much appreciated!

don't know how much longer the limbo will go on...but I'll keep you posted :)

almost outta here...

with only 4 sleeps left here on 36th thought I'd put out a quick update...with the chaos of the week to come it will likely be the last for a bit.

since last week we have put a couple more loads into storage which will reduce our work load this thursday and friday as we get everything out of here. the emptier it gets in here the more real it feels that this is our home no longer...

last week while Sasha and I were on a journey around the neighbourhood, we saw a coyote just a block away from here! it moved so quickly and quietly...so silently I would never have noticed it had it not passed before me. though we locked eyes it clearly had a path it was on...in the direction of our house - my first thought "where was Karma when we left?!"...sleeping on the bed - whew!

the last time I saw a coyote was when we lived at main & 41st near the cemetary. it surprises me how much territory they can cover in this city, and I wonder how many people are aware of the "living with coyotes" info Vancouver has available for people to inform themselves. maybe because 've read the info on the web site (www.vancouver.ca) and the brochures I picked up my first trip to Stanley Park long ago...well the surprise of seeing the coyotes never scares me. It's pretty cool to watch them glide out of sight...and I'm choosing to ignore the folklore that it is bad luck when they cross your path!

especially today as I go for my cat scan - finally! 2 1/2 months since my concussion and my head will now be scanned. given I can still feel the bruising at the point of impact I know it's the worst concussion I've ever had...but I'd still be surprised if this scan shows anything other than a normal looking skull. solid as a rock my head is ;)

it will likely be a couple of weeks before I get any results...I'll let you know when I know what kind of damage, if any, I've done to myself this time.

other than the Kengsington Community Association AGM on wednesday (where I end my time as a member of the board after 2 years - it was a great learning experience for me and I'm thankful to all my fellow board and program committee members who made it wonderful!) we're just playin' and packin' for the next few days before our final move out.

it's been a great place to live this little home on 36th. with all of our involvement at Che's school, organizing events in the local park with neighbours, the great friendships that evolved with many of our neighbours, volunteering on the board at Kensington, becoming the MC for community events...and the most wonderful memory of all - welcoming our baby girl into our world! though eagerly looking forward to entrenching ourselves in the mount pleasant community...it's no wonder I'm so sad to leave. much gratitude to the kensington community for the good times while we were here!!

Mark and I now head to our 7th home together in 10 years...exactly 10 years ago since our first kiss - the first kiss he remembers anyway! LOL! Ready to take on a whole new home with our little family...and another 10 years together. smooches babe :)

here are the final pics I'll post from Sasha's first home: she definetly doesn't fit into the infant car seat anymore!!; totally in love with her brother...and the really cool happy face pillow he made; the tantrum side; and quiet time with mommy :)





















"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France

faith in murphy

Sasha has this totally hilarious face and sound that she makes when she's excited...here's the face - LOL! She's excited 'cuz she's on a chair and writing with a pen - two of her favorite things. I think she's also impressed with her fine penmanship ;)



well, despite the melancholy and emotional overload expressed in the past few posts, there continues to be a great balance of positive energy in our life too. Some days it feels like a lot of work to maintain the happy-go-lucky self. Some days I just can't do it...and these are the days I curse my dysfunctional pituitary gland for making me so hormonally unbalanced...and I remember to breathe through to the next day.

A few folks have been worried about me as they tune in to my stories of frustration and anxiety over the past 5 months. I'm thankful for the concern and the emotional support...that love, being spoiled by Penny (above and beyond the call of duty as super granny these days!!) and the many random acts of kindness I keep encountering have helped me feel a turnaround in energy - much gratitude :)

Also want to remind myself and everyone else that by the new year we'll be settled and I'm close enough to that point now that the limbo is not feeling so overwhelming anymore to my mind. whew!

After developing an action plan around our upcoming move out - storage needs, car/truck bookings, child minding, etc- and actually taking first steps on this 'to do' list...my energy is definitely back up up up! just needed to have some control over things in our life again...the planner in me is satisfied once again. and it's verra verra nice to have all the boxes that we packed already outta here. (they had just become new walls which prompted Che to rename our office the 'box office' -teehee) now we have room to pack even more boxes - super! whew!

Now we are leaving something in fate's hands...the cost of our storage. we decided to rent storage space now and start taking loads as we can over the next two weeks and then hope to need it only a month...but it might be longer. Having narrowed our storage options it boiled down to company A which would charge 1 month with another month free, or a company B which charged $1 (plus another $34 in admin fees, etc) for the first month and a bit more than company A for the 2nd month.

With all of Murphy's strikes against us this year we decided he owes us one and that the stars will align for us to be in the co-op by Dec 17th...and therefore saving us more than a couple of hundred dollars in storage fees! Quite the wager and might cost us...but I'm feeling a definite shift in odds against us...feeling a little faith in Murphy and that it's all gonna be real good real soon :)
a wonderful date night on Saturday - had dinner at Harambe on the Drive...great experience and great Ethiopian food! - and then a party to celebrate the bdays of Tanya and some of her fellow scorpions at a 20's theme party and we had an amazing time with a great new group of people! tons of fun and everyone who dressed up looked awesome!

working on the doc with Tanya and some other fascinating stuff going on in my public education advocacy is giving me focus into the next year and beyond which also keeps my passion going...lots to look forward to and lots of work I'm loving!

speaking of work...I have found out the job share paperwork all had to be done over again so we'll likely have the green light for it by january. I give a big sigh of relief - whew! - to finally have an answer to the when on that big question! yay! and I'm happy to not have too many shifts over the next month or so to have the time needed to get our home in order.

2 more weeks of good times to be had here amongst the chaos...

today we played with Gilly and Merlin again! yeepa!!! been way too long and Sasha and I are happy to be back on track with playdates with friends...sooooooooooooooooooo happy! :)

The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. ~Havelock Ellis, The Dance of Life, 1923