Sasha was as adorable as ever this halloween as you can see here...what a great little turtle! :)it was amazing night and we were happy to reconnect with some friends and Sasha loved being out and about at night with so many things to see...including Che's haunted house that he and his friends put togther (which my camera didn't do justice to so no pics here - sorry)
here are Joanne and Saskia the cutest duck ever...and can you believe Sasha was that wee last year (remember the red hot chili pepper!!! lol) Saskia was born the day before Sasha's 1st bday so it's kinda cool to have another bairn in our world exactly a year younger than Sasha...neat to see how they change in a year!here is Sasha helping herself to candy at Susans (which we ate - yummy) - blurry but cute; Sasha running around Shannon & Ryans home; and the whole gang.
my camera is not taking as many great pics these days. I think this might have something to do with how often I have let Sasha get her hands on it...even while camping...oops! some pics are better than none ;)
after halloween we had a visit from Johnny, Kristen and Jacob who we last saw on Cortes this summer...sweet! Jacob is walking his first steps now and has changed so much in only 3 months. We miss their little family very much so it was so good to hang out again - even for only an evening :)
Mark made his new favorite for them - chicken cacciatore...very very yummy! He had kept asking for a pressure cooker for ages and when he finally recieved one a few years ago...well he hadn't used it once. I used the pressure cooker first...and not cook with...just as a reliable pot to bring my veggie stew to our picket line potluck one day. After telling everyone about it's first use...Mark finally got motivated to shut me up...teehee
another wonderful meal we had recently was with Dad & Liz...and now the realization that it has been about 10 years since I first met the Whittam clan! My first meeting with a bunch of the family was at a basketball game back when Vancouver had an NBA franchise...what were they called again? Was a fun night though ;)
All of Mark's family...my family for a long time now...have helped me grow in my time of knowing them. Challenging me and helping me, and always giving me much food for thought! With today being Remembrance day I've been reflecting most on the storytelling and perspective offered by Alec on this day. We had had a family dialogue the other night which had turned to war games and Alec shared with Che his reasons for never agreeing to play them - quite simply he doesn't want to glorify something which has caused (and continues to cause) so much pain and suffering to so many...it's just not entertaining to pretend to kill people when you have actually lost people directly as a result of war like he has.
another thing which has me thinking this Nov. 11th was an article I read that same day offering another perspective on Remembrance day...that it not just be a day of mourning those lost in the wars...but that we also take time to reflect on the sacrifices our own generation can make for the better good of tomorrows society. I agreed with the author that it feels quite hypocritical to honour the sacrifices made by soldiers and all of those who made sacrifices at home...and then complain that making changes to our own lives is too difficult because "it's not convenient" - which is an excuse we've all heard too often.
(Note: the following thoughts are a reflection on violence and may not be your cup of tea today... so feel free to scroll down a bit to the :) and the final happy thoughts for this post)
Being a peacenik I long for a time when there are no wars...but I know that is not reality in this moment. I want the boys and men of our world to have a higher purpose than systematically wiping each other out in one war after another...for oil...or water...or diginity. And in todays wars there are far more innocent children & civilians killed than soldiers...so how much longer can we the people allow the killing to go on? how long before our own children are sheltering themselves from bombs on their cities? I'm not so naive that I have my head in the sand on future repercussions for todays government and military choices. And recruitment is on the rise on all sides.
the past week I've been reflecting alot on violence. there is so much of it in the world...it's easy to be consumed by it all and believe that ugly side of human nature is unavoidable. I'm no stranger to acts of aggression, having witnessed many and been on the receiving end of some too. But it's been a few years since I've really seen anything beyond a shouting match. In the past week i was shocked back into the reality of the random acts of violence that exist in our day-to-day world and was witness to more than one ugly scene.
Trying to get off a bus on my way to the co-op, I was blocked by a man making his way on. He didn't notice me coming with the stroller because he was too busy yelling at the woman behind him...and then before I knew it he was hitting her and they were on the ground with him doing the majority of the pounding!!
I was maybe 3 feet away from this big bear of a man, twice my size, as he threw his first punch. And I didn't see until he had finished his fist thrashing that the person he had been pummeling on the sidewalk was a woman half my size...with glasses. I'll tell you she put up a good fight, but physically she was really no match for him. I was frozen in place by fear of this man who was blocking my safe exit with my baby, and becasue he was clearly not in control of his anger.
The pounding probably didn't last more than a minute, if that...time alters in slow motion retrospect. Then they were yelling at each other. This is where she matched him in spirit as she stood her ground demanding to know why he hit her...but he just kept saying she hit him first!! It was when they started the verbal abuse on one another that Sasha finally reacted to the violent tension around her and started crying. Though she couldn't see them she felt the hostility as much as everyone else around them.
Then I was torn for a second by my desire to ensure the woman was really okay and that she might need witnesses...and my desire to get my girl outta there...guess which instinct took over? Hearing the bus driver on his phone calling for back up becasue of an assualt in progress and seeing the woman on her feet and holding her own in an argument I shoved that stroller and with help from some other passengers made it off the bus by the back door.
I've been struggling with that choice because I really felt for that woman and I feel bad for not having done anything at all. What I have decided to do is to follow up with Translink to find out if I can add my witness testimony to any incident reports and if there were any charges laid.
I felt for the bus driver knowing they see acts of assault quite often on certain routes, when not being the victims of misdirected anger themselves.
I felt for the woman and the emotioanl and physical pain she must have felt...and the effects she likely went through after the fact when the shock wears off.
and I felt for the man who lost it and took out all of his anger in his life on this stranger...what makes a man act that way and feel entitled to act that way?
another violent blow to the head I witnessed (was it only yesterday?) happened in our living room. Che had a few friends over for an afternoon of D&D. 2 of these boys apparently don't get along very well. early in the afternoon (while Sasha and I were out enjoying the sunshine) there had been a blow up between them which became physical - and involved heads being hit with books.
there was a lot of name calling going on too. At one point I came in to put a stop to the insults...just in time to see one fist smash into one face with such force the head ricocheted off the wall.
well. I lost it. I made it very clear with my words that violent blows to the head were not allowed in our home under any circumstances. I was shaken by the hostility on his face during the action and really angry with his nonchalance and excuses after. it's a struggle to remember that aspergers kids aren't necessarily aware of their facial expressions and often have little control with their responses to anger or fustration.
So I found myself in another moment of shock. And realized I was still raw from the bus encounter. I need to seperate the incidents in my mind...but a flying fist is a flying fist when you know how it feels on the other end. And with a young man in my home I felt no hesitation in expressing my upset at his violent outburst.
we'll give the boys a chance to play nice another day. since they see each other every day at school and are in the same program they will likely learn to get along eventually...right?
if it does happen again, especially in our home, I hope I will be able to check my own emotioanl reaction and help facilitate a more genuine moment of apology and understanding between them. I still feel I could have been a much better role model in that instant...proof that I still have work to do on my own peace keeping skills.
perhaps we should be teaching alot more of that kind of skill development in our schools. maybe if the kids learn more about community and less about war the legacy of rights and sacrifice by the elders today will make a real difference tomorrow...and not just yesterday in a 2 minute silence.
:)
back on the happy note...when I'm really in need of positive energy it seems to find me. after the crazy bus moment, on my way to the co-op to sign all the papers (so it's official...the suite is ours - yay!...but still no word on when!!!) Sasha and I stopped at a playground near our soon to be home and we met a wonderfully nice mom & tot. I was really thankful for the smiles and fun of watching Sasha make a new friend!
Until the job share starts my work load has lightened a bit...at least the stuff that pays me anyways - lol. So when I'm not reveling in all my time with Sasha, or organizing things for the move, I'm still having weekly meetings with Tanya as we work on the doc. and this has been helpful in giving me something concrete in my life outside of home and work to focus on...keep me on the edge of sanity on those days when the emotional tightrope walk is a bit precarious. Not to be overly dramatic but I have been a bit unglued some days...many days lately...is something rising in my moon? what's going on in retrograde and when will all the stars align again?
well...most of them are almost in line...give me a couple of dates to work with (home when? job share when?) and I tell you I will be the happiest of campers.
spontaneous wine nights (thanks again Susan), long walks and loved ones who reach out and touch you when you are too overwhelmed to reach out to them...the spice of life I love :)
and my favorite spice is our little sassy Sasha...here she is at the park and taking a break in her brothers hamper!! she is hilarious!! lol :)
I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?"
~Eve Merriam
Sometimes I think it should be a rule of war that you have to see somebody up close and get to know him before you can shoot him. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Nations have recently been led to borrow billions for war; no nation has ever borrowed largely for education. Probably, no nation is rich enough to pay for both war and civilization. We must make our choice; we cannot have both.
~Abraham Flexner
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